OneAndOneIs2

I haven't been posting here very much lately. To make up for it, I've been doing something fairly unusual for me, and that's sharing my problems with other people instead of just venting to the internet at large via this blog.

In late January, we started our second school placement. On 6 February, I started teaching classes. Since then, I've taught around two dozen lessons to some half dozen classes.

Things started to falter last week. Well, in fact they started to falter in January, but they only became a noticeable issue last weekend.

Not just for me, I might add. I started to raise concerns on Monday, but by Tuesday our Facebook group was filling up with comments such as:

How is teaching getting harder?!?!?! I had a observation which was a very good good 3 weeks ago and had one today that just scrapped a satisfactory....

Phew! I had no idea it was going to be this tough next time around. What the hell's going on?

It is definately harder this time guys, I was only the phone to Dr S last week breaking down in tears and ready give it all up. I just feel like i'm not doing the kids any justice as a teacher and confidence has gone to pot.

Well, it's definately harder, and I've just about had enough.

If I had another job I think I'd take it now. I remember all the good people and things my life used to be full of before this f**king PGCE ate it.

I have been awake since 1 this morning as my observation went so badly

hard I can cope with but actualy getting worse at teaching is shite

You get the idea...

Everybody's having problems, it seems. Starting at a new school is always a bad time, it appears. Starting halfway through the year when the kids are used to their existing teachers at a school you didn't choose and in several cases don't like, that's even harder still.

I'm having a particularly hard time because I am seriously unimpressed by my school. And that is being very, very tactful.

My first placement school had around two dozen members of staff in the science department. They felt they were just about able to accept two student teachers.

My subject tutor at university is of the opinion that you need a minimum of about 10 people in a department to be able to support two students.

My school? Five teachers, three students. Five students, if you count the GTPs (the other route into teaching, where you're in school from day 1)

There's supposed to be "Professional studies" sessions every week. To start with we were flatly told there wasn't any, after enough people asked he offered the brilliant solution of "If there's something you want to know more about, go away and research it, then present it to the rest of the group for me, and we'll call that Professional Studies." - lucky us, we get to do his job for him because obviously we're not busy enough already.

All of the classes I'm teaching are for the same teacher, which is never good because it means just one person's opinion of your approach decides whether you pass or fail. Although she's not been in at least a third of my lessons because she's been busy elsewhere. On the odd occasion when I get feedback, it's of the incredibly helpful "You've got a problem with that, you really need to fix it, it's important." variety. On the other hand, it IS balanced by a complete lack of positive feedback about the things I'm getting right.

Sarcastic? Moi?

Whether it's a headmaster being asked about his weakest teachers, or a teacher being asked about his weakest pupils, there's never any problem with "So-and-so isn't doing very well" so long as it's followed by "...which we're dealing with by doing X, Y, and Z."

I'm sure if my mentor were asked "Is he having any problems?" she would immediately come back with an unhesitating "Yes" but if the follow-up question of "And what are you doing about that?" were asked, there would be a long and awkward silence...

I can handle being in a school I don't much like - it's only for a few months, after all - but not if it's going to cost me my chance of passing the course. And knowing just how much the county, and indeed the country, needs science teachers, I know that a casual "Oh bad luck." isn't on the cards for the situation. Especially since I know that the other student from my university has also raised issues with his subject tutor as well - both of us doing so quite independently, you understand...

The other big problem was the far more subtle but dangerous one that I simply haven't enjoyed any of the teaching. If your reaction to a day of teaching is a purely negative one, you have to ask what the point is of training to be a teacher.

I'm feeling a bit more positive about the whole thing at the moment. The science PGCE students at our university are forming into almost a support group, and we met this weekend to cheer each other up; I let off quite a bit of steam over a steak with one of the teachers from my first placement; phone and email have both taken a bit of a hammering from some fairly long rants; and I did actually have one "Oh, THIS is why I wanted to teach" moment on Friday afternoon - the first I've had since I started this placement two months ago.

But I'm sitting down and trying to get as many of next week's lessons planned as possible... and absolutely nothing is coming.

All in all... it's not a good time right now. Hence the lack of posts recently.