OneAndOneIs2

No, not a car crash that left me paralysed. A trip to the chiropractor. Much the same thing, only if your spine doesn't snap first time, they adjust the position and try again.

Long-time readers will know I have chronic pain issues. I figured that since I have all this free time, and a certain amount of cash, I should try paying for treatment. So in I went, to make an appointment.

Only to be told that they had a space free right now, would I like to go right in?

What the Hell, I had nothing better to do...

So, in nothing but a back-fastening white sack, I was taken into a room containing what looked like a vertical dentist's chair. My back and shoulders were prodded as I was swayed back and forth for a while, and eventually I was given the diagnosis.

To my surprise, there was no problem mentioned with my right hip, which is one of my problem areas - it's higher than the left, and has quite a lot of tension in the surrounding muscles. But this is because my LEFT hip is out of alignment. Middle back is a little askew as a result, and neck and shoulders are pretty much the worst part - the inevitable result: everything above an askew joint goes askew to try and correct for it.

It's fun to say "askew"

So, I was lead to the upright dentist-chair, which then slowly tilted back until I was horizontal on what looked like a torture rack.

Because it was one.

Actually, it wasn't too bad, although I learned that when a chiropractor is going to work on your hip area, it's a good idea not to drink too much beforehand. Having a lot of pressure put on the back of your hip could go so very wrong...

My middle back made a lot of pops and cracks, and she dug her fingers into my shoulders rather harder than I'd like. I've known rock climbers with weaker grips.

And then I had to switch to lying on my back so she could "correct" my neck. Which involves a move that looks just like the guys in movies use to break necks: They grab hold of your head and twist it sharply around.

I had to tilt my head to one side, and she twisted it sharply around. Then told me to wiggle my toes. This was not reassuring.

I felt them move. Evidently, this disappointed her, because she tilted my head the OTHER way and twisted it sharply again.

The cracking sound they're so famous for is very loud when it happens so close to your ears. I was laying there thinking "There are so many ways in which this could all go horribly wrong"

But it didn't. And I do actually feel rather better than I did before I went. So I'll stick with it for a while. At least so long as I continue to be able to walk out of the place afterwards...