OneAndOneIs2

Let me tell you about my morning.

I hate travelling. With the possible exception of when I was backpacking, it always comes with so many worries about what you need to pack, what you need to remember, timetables to be kept, etc.

So after going to bed at 10pm last night, I got no sleep at all - just that kind of half-sleep that you get when you're expecting the alarm to sound at any moment.

At 3am, it finally did.

But I'd planned for this, so I hit the snooze button a couple of times before actually getting up.

On looking out over the outside world, I saw that the forecast had sadly been correct: It had snowed. Copiously. Two, maybe three inches.

Now don't get me wrong: I love snow. I always like to see snow. I have Xsnow installed on my laptop. Snow's pretty as it falls, pretty when it lays. I have no problem with snow.

Except when I'm trying to get somewhere. THEN I'm not such a fan of snow.

So at 4am, I'm brushing the snow off the roof of my car as it idles and hopefully warms up, and a little while later, I set out along an unusually white road. I got off the cul-de-sac and onto the main roads without incident, and the roads became a more traditional black from here on.

The drive would usually take half an hour, but I was taking it steady so it was 45 minutes by the time I arrived. The roads had been largely devoid of traffic, so I hadn't been too badly annoyed by the snow-driving numpties who seem to think that the only way to drive safely in snow is to subtract their own age from the speed limit and stay under that MPH at all times.

Having driven all those miles without incident, it's ironic that I stalled twice as I tried to park the car. You need to keep the revs up a bit to drive very slowly through thick snow...

Then it was a ten minute walk to the station. Which took fifteen, as the paths were rather icy. At the station, I had around quarter of an hour to wait before discovering that the trains were indeed running. It was reassuring to know that two inches of frozen water on the tracks wasn't enough to bring several hundred tonnes of electrified steel and plastic to its knees...

And then I arrived at the airpot, with around half an hour to go before check-in closed. Plenty of time, I thought, considering it was still somewhat before 6am.

Unexpected delay #1: The train had brought me into the wrong terminal, and I had to hop on a shuttle bus.

Unexpected delay #2: The queue for my airline occupied the entire checking-in hall and was doubled-up right the way out the door.

A brief explanation to a helpful attendant along the lines of "I have 15 minutes to check in and the line isn't moving all that fast" got me bumped straight to the head of the queue.

I got a lovely warm feeling as hundreds of patient queuers watched me bypass them completely :o)

Having avoided several hours standing in line, I then wandered over to the departures gate, only to be told I couldn't go in: My airline had no departure lounge available for some reason. But since the runway was closed and would be for at least an hour and a half, I was advised to go get some breakfast or something.

So I went downstairs, bought a bottle of water, found one of the few unoccupied seats, and settled in for what I expected would be a long wait.

Being on my own, I didn't have the luxury of being able to leave my seat or fall asleep, so I employed my rare-but-helpful ability to fall asleep whilst still paying attention to what goes on around me, and duly woke up to the announcement that all flights prior to 11am were cancelled. All passengers who had checked in were advised to reclaim their luggage. A vast mob of people immediately headed for the baggage area.

Having opted to only take carry-on, I had no worries on that score, and got back on the shuttle bus. A few minutes later, due to it being delayed by the snow, I caught a train back to where I'd left my car, and drove the considerably-thawed-out roads back home.

By the time I was back through the door, I was very hungry and feeling like I'd had a long day. And it wasn't quite 10am. All because this country finds it so hard to deal with a bit of frozen water from the sky that falls exactly as predicted several days previously.

If I hear anyone singing that bloody Bing Crosby song in the next 24 hours, I'll probably strangle them.

You have been warned!