OneAndOneIs2

So my car's been having starter problems, as I mentioned before. On Monday, I drove to work fine, except for traffic and roadworks making me be over half an hour late. Then when I tried to leave, the car refused to start.

Half an hour later, after scientifically applying brute force to the starter motor via the handle of my adjustable spanner, I got it going again, and drove home.

Tuesday morning dawned bright & clear, and I opted to take my bike in instead. As I sailed past endless queues of traffic in the sunshine, I congratulated myself on my choice. I rode home in the dark, but it really wasn't bad.

Wednesday morning, I woke up to a slight ground frost, but it was sunny and I was still wary of both my car's ability to start, and the amount of traffic it would get stuck in. I opted to ride in again.

25 miles later, with just a few miles left to cover, I was regretting the decision. The mild frost we had had around home had been a severe frost near my workplace, and the roads were treacherous. I had slowed right down, and was within a couple of miles when it all went wrong.

Suddenly, without warning, I was no longer riding my bike, but sliding along the road with a sharp pain in my right shoulder. I remember my head hitting the deck quite hard, and the sudden impact with the mud & grass by the roadside, and I remember I was swearing the whole time.

And then I was stopped, and I took stock of my situation. My right foot was trapped under the bike, which I was unable to lift due to the pain in my right shoulder. My visor had been knocked open and the cold air had made my glasses fog up. So I couldn't see. Or move. I tried to get purchase on the road to pull myself free, but the entire surface was just a sheet of black ice, so I could get no grip. I was stuck.

Luckily, the van that had been driving behind me had driven into a hedge when I took a dive, so had come safely(?) to a halt. The driver & passenger got out and helped me and the bike get upright again. I insisted I was fine, and they reversed their van out of the hedge and got going again.

A review of my situation revealed I was doing reasonably well: My helmet had absorbed all the force of my blow to the head, and being in bike armour top-to-toe had protected the rest of me. If only my shoulder weren't hurting, I'd have said I was fine. As it was, with a bit of effort I managed to get my phone out of my pocket, and called my boss.

After explaining I'd crashed & hurt my shoulder too much to be able to move any further, he rang off to contact one of my co-workers, who takes the same route and would thus be able to pick me up on his way past. I settled down to wait.

The next car that came along rounded the corner, hit the ice, saw me, tried to swerve to avoid me, skidded on the ice into the path of a car going the other way, managed in some miraculous fashion to get back under control enough to get out of its way without hitting me or my bike, and slid to a halt a few yards up the road.

The driver got out and spent a few moments therapeutically venting his emotions at the state the road was in. He then very kindly agreed to help me move my bike a bit further away from the corner so any further vehicles wouldn't have the same problem he'd had. I was unable to do anything to help, because my shoulder was really quite painful now.

He then set out, and thanks to his help, the NEXT car that rounded the corner had a much less dramatic accident: It just slid in a beautiful arc until it was at right angles to the road. A bit of back&forth work saw him pointed in the right way again, and off he went.

About 15 minutes after I'd crashed, my co-worker came into view. In fact, two of them did - he was followed by one of the other managers. They were going very slowly, looking for me as they were, but even so they almost came to grief as they came to a halt. Between the three of us, we got the bike completely off the road and safely locked up, during which time another car came along, saw the obstruction, and promptly slid into the hedge.

Eventually, we were done, and I could, slowly and carefully, climb into the 4x4 and be driven the last few miles to work. Sad thing is, I still got there earlier than I would have in the car.

My colleagues made me a cup of tea and began to discuss what hospital I should be taken to, whilst I began the slow and tedious process of getting my injured self out of the bike armour. Wasn't easy, what with all the zips and velcro, but I got there in the end. And my shoulder LOOKED fine...

But I couldn't move it, so it clearly wasn't. As the hospital discussion narrowed down to just two candidates, I could feel myself going fuzzy, so I announced that I was going into shock and just sat down and waited to be told what to do.

Eventually, a decision was made on who was taking me where, and off we went. We found the hospital easily enough, and parked fine. Then we had some trouble locating the actual entrance to the Accident&Emergency centre. In the end, I collared an ambulance driver, who pointed us at a big entrance with "No entry, ambulances only" plastered all over it.

On querying this, we were told that the ACTUAL entrance had been boarded up after a little old lady had driven her car through it. So that was that sorted out.

In we went, and a few minutes after I had explained the situation to the receptionist, a rather pretty nurse came over to me and started unbuttoning my shirt. That was probably the hilight of my day.

Sadly, she was just ascertaining that I hadn't dislocated my arm, but happily I hadn't. I was given some painkillers and sent off for an x-ray.

Two blasts of ionizing radiation later, and I was back in reception waiting for the outcome. And here it is:

As you can see, the clavicle was snapped in half. Hence the shoulder pain. Nothing they can do really to treat it - they can't put your shoulder in a cast - so I was put in a sling, given some pills, and sent home.

Unable to ride my bike, I resorted to the train. Several hours later, I was back in my hometown, and instead of going home, opted to call in on Tina's workplace - since I've worked there too, I had no worries about waiting around until her day was over.

I went in & said hello to everyone, and they called Tina out with a cry of "Tina, there's someone here to see you". The look on her face was quite a picture. I should probably explain at this point that she broke two fingers on her left hand on Monday, so seeing me standing there at 2 in the afternoon with my arm in a sling and mud up my tattered biking outfit, was possibly not the high point of her day.

She took the excuse to leave work early, and home we both came. On Thursday, her mini's lights started acting up by not turning off, so she had a flat battery that afternoon. So we have three vehicles, two of which are unreliable at starting and the other of which is 30 miles away having been crashed; and two working arms between us. The left in both cases. Pity I'm right handed.

So if I've seemed unusually quiet recently, you now know the reason - my shoulder is getting better by the day, but I still typed most of this post entirely with my left hand. It's difficult to shower, worse to get dry after, and don't even ask about getting dressed. We've given up on all pretence of cooking, since with only one working hand each it's just laughable to try.

On the plus side, the kittens are enjoying all the extra company...